Babysitting and a neurotic mom

It is 08.03 am. Im still in bed next to a sleeping toddler. Little C was made IVF style and after the nurses had painfully extracted 8 eggs from my womb and just before the nice doctor man disappeared to mix up my eggs with hubby’s love juice, I told him we wanted to order the Deluxe Baby 1.0. He gave us – tadaaa – a baby that is just as big a sleepyhead as her parents. Well done, Doc!

She fuzzes and I turn slightly and she sleep crawls into my arms. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead. I love her so much my heart aches.

She is 15 months old and last night was the first time EVER some one babysat her. The first time she was without her mother AND her father for more than 5 minutes. Oh the horror! And the agony. During the hours leading up to it I wanted to cancel a million times!

We had nothing special planned. In fact we were just going training. We both do martial arts and hubby had been wanting to train together again for some time now. My mum had been bugging me to let her babysit for quite some time. So there we were. My brother is home for a week and wants to spend as much time with his niece as possible so I asked the two of them to come over while I, hubby and my dad went to train.

Was it fun? For me – no. Absolutely not. And I don’t need to do it again for a long time. But – and this is a big but – my husband was thrilled we got to train together, my mum and brother was stoked to spend a couple of hours playing with Chloe and, alas, Chloe hadn’t even noticed I was gone 😂

How was your first time away from your little one?

 

Much love,

Chloe’s mom

 

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Attachment parenting part 1.

Chloe Emily was born at home at 8.20 am on a beautiful January morning. It was snowing. I was exhausted, but wide awake. She was beautiful. My husband was so proud. After an hour and Chloe’s first little feed is went to take a shower. I made hubby strip his shirt and give her skin-to-skin contact. I took a fairly long shower and when I came back out they hadn’t moved and inch!  She was asleep on his chest. He was uncomfortable, but didn’t dare move. His eyes were full of unshed tears. He was so proud.

When I became pregnant I had never heard the term ‘co-sleeping’ before. I just knew our little baby girl was going to sleep in our bed. In my arms and on my chest. I just knew.  Just like I knew I was going to carry her in a wrap, keep her close. Close enough to always be able to kiss her little head and inhale her sweet baby scent. She spent nearly every minute of the day in that wrap – either with me or with her Daddy. She craved the closeness and she slept a lot. Keeping her close just felt right. It felt natural. Even now at nearly 15 months she still spends time in the wrap nearly every day. We don’t own a stroller and the pram has long since been sold.

We kept her close. We responded to her every need, her every cry, her every cue. We took a lot of heat for our way of doing things. We were cuddling her too much, spoiling her, giving her too much love (!), making her dependent on us. She was 4 weeks old. On the inside I wavered, on the inside I cried. On  the outside I stood fast. I did not waver. I knew we were doing what was right for our little girl. I held my ground. Alone, I cried.

I didn’t know the term ‘attachment parenting’. Chloe was 6 months old when I learnt of this type of parenting. When I researched it and joined a Facebook group it felt like coming home.

To be continued…