It is 08.03 am. Im still in bed next to a sleeping toddler. Little C was made IVF style and after the nurses had painfully extracted 8 eggs from my womb and just before the nice doctor man disappeared to mix up my eggs with hubby’s love juice, I told him we wanted to order the Deluxe Baby 1.0. He gave us – tadaaa – a baby that is just as big a sleepyhead as her parents. Well done, Doc!
She fuzzes and I turn slightly and she sleep crawls into my arms. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead. I love her so much my heart aches.
She is 15 months old and last night was the first time EVER some one babysat her. The first time she was without her mother AND her father for more than 5 minutes. Oh the horror! And the agony. During the hours leading up to it I wanted to cancel a million times!
We had nothing special planned. In fact we were just going training. We both do martial arts and hubby had been wanting to train together again for some time now. My mum had been bugging me to let her babysit for quite some time. So there we were. My brother is home for a week and wants to spend as much time with his niece as possible so I asked the two of them to come over while I, hubby and my dad went to train.
Was it fun? For me – no. Absolutely not. And I don’t need to do it again for a long time. But – and this is a big but – my husband was thrilled we got to train together, my mum and brother was stoked to spend a couple of hours playing with Chloe and, alas, Chloe hadn’t even noticed I was gone 😂
How was your first time away from your little one?
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Chloe Emily was born at home at 8.20 am on a beautiful January morning. It was snowing. I was exhausted, but wide awake. She was beautiful. My husband was so proud. After an hour and Chloe’s first little feed is went to take a shower. I made hubby strip his shirt and give her skin-to-skin contact. I took a fairly long shower and when I came back out they hadn’t moved and inch! She was asleep on his chest. He was uncomfortable, but didn’t dare move. His eyes were full of unshed tears. He was so proud.
When I became pregnant I had never heard the term ‘co-sleeping’ before. I just knew our little baby girl was going to sleep in our bed. In my arms and on my chest. I just knew. Just like I knew I was going to carry her in a wrap, keep her close. Close enough to always be able to kiss her little head and inhale her sweet baby scent. She spent nearly every minute of the day in that wrap – either with me or with her Daddy. She craved the closeness and she slept a lot. Keeping her close just felt right. It felt natural. Even now at nearly 15 months she still spends time in the wrap nearly every day. We don’t own a stroller and the pram has long since been sold.
We kept her close. We responded to her every need, her every cry, her every cue. We took a lot of heat for our way of doing things. We were cuddling her too much, spoiling her, giving her too much love (!), making her dependent on us. She was 4 weeks old. On the inside I wavered, on the inside I cried. On the outside I stood fast. I did not waver. I knew we were doing what was right for our little girl. I held my ground. Alone, I cried.
I didn’t know the term ‘attachment parenting’. Chloe was 6 months old when I learnt of this type of parenting. When I researched it and joined a Facebook group it felt like coming home.
To be continued…
So I’m a freshly hatched vegetarian – or actually I’m a pescetarian as I still eat fish. I’ve been working towards it since I was a teenager and with the birth of Chloe it seemed like the time. She inspired me so to speak to finally walk the talk. I had planned on working up to being completely meat free little by little, but suddenly a week after having made the decision I realised that I hadn’t had any meat in 6 days. Easy peasy! Hubby hasn’t eaten cow or pig in like 25 years, but still eats chicken and fish. Chloe eats anything that’s put in front of her. I don’t want to make her a vegetarian, because honestly food – all food – is amazing and I want her experience life with all its wonderful tastes and smells. I just make sure they eat organic and free range.
This newfound pescetarianisme (is that a word? It is now) has brought a lot of new questions though and one of them is of a rather surprising nature. It so happened that we were at an Easter brunch with the family yesterday and we started talking about taking a trip to a big safari park this Summer. ‘Oooh!’ I thought. Chloe would love the animals. But then I started thinking: Do people who don’t eat meat out of animal welfare reasons go to the zoo – a place where wild animals are being held captive? I couldn’t find an answer. Personal beliefs versus Chloe’s lit up cute little face when she sees all the animals?
What is your opinion?
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I was born some 27 years ago just past midnight on a warm May night. I was born in a hospital that has long since been shut down. Present during my birth was my mum, dad a midwife or two and my dad’s younger sister, my aunt. I was born six weeks premature and weighed in at 2500 grams and 45 cm. I was a tiny little baby, too small for nappies and the clothes my proud parents had brought. I was the first born.
Now, 27 years later, Chloe is also our first born. She was born at home on the couch on a snowy January morning. It was a planned home birth and she was born at 8.20 am after merely 6 hours of labour. Present was a midwife, my husband and my parents. She was born the day before my due date and weighed 3525 grams and was 50 cm long. She had a cute little button nose and big, dark eyes.
27 years ago, just an hour after I was born, my aunt gave me her present: A little orange bear. She put him down next to me in my little cot. My whole childhood we have been inseparable. He was there every night, for every sleepover, for every tea party and every holiday. He even travelled to Australia with me at age of 21! He has had a few stitches and one time he had his tail torn off. I cried for a whole hour until my mum was able to reattach it. I love that little bear. And now, 27 years later, I have passed him on to my daughter. He is the first thing she picks up in the morning and the last thing she cuddles at night before closing her little eyes. She loves him too. And I hope they have a wonderful 27 years together.